do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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