just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
of course. lets lasso hookers.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
