6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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