I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I want to have your abortion
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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