I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
