The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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