Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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