Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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