Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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