shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
