But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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