Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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