two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
