ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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