Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
