we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
