My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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