The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
