Sponge bath it is.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
