i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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