did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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