I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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