glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
