That's when you crack a 10am beer
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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