idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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