I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
