We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
