I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize