i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize