did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
