I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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