and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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