hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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