omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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