sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
