I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
