He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
