question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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