If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
