I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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