drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
