This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
