It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
