i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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