apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
