I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
NoShamevember. You game?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize