Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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