just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
