I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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