Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i now understand why vodka
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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