I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
