Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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