That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
There r osticjed everywhere
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
