Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
