I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
