My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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