You really coming over, don't trick.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
