i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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