Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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