Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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