I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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