operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
