omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
