I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
