1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
