I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
