So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
